Abusive relationship

An abusive relationship is a relationship in which you do not feel safe, a relationship in which the partner does not take into account your rights and feelings, a relationship in which you do not feel safe. Getting out of such a relationship is not easy, but it is not impossible.

Maybe you haven't taken this step because you still hope that he can change or maybe you're afraid of what your families will think or how your partner will react, whether he'll be violent or not. No one should live in fear, dread, anxiety and stress every day.

"I want to leave, I can't take it anymore."

"I will leave tomorrow, tomorrow is better if I leave."

"I want to leave, but he's threatening me."

Have you said these things to yourself several times during the relationship? If the answer is "YES", then remember the following:

• There is no reason why you were beaten
• There is no reason why you were threatened
• Not everything is your fault
• You cannot convince someone to love you
• Beautiful memories do not mean the future will be the same
• The person in question will not change
• You are not alone! Ask for help!

You've probably gone through more difficult moments than you could have wished for, after which you still chose to stay in this relationship. Maybe he'll change, maybe I'll help him change, maybe we'll go to couples therapy or maybe he'll just stop the abuse.

The abuse will happen again. It won't change. You can't help him.

Try to think, yes or no, to the questions below: Does

1. your partner say that he can only change if you are with him?
2. Does he tell you that you should change some things about yourself, when you ask him to change?
3. Does he continue to blame those around him for his own behavior?
4. He tells you that he won't change but asks you to give him a second chance?
5. Does it influence the decisions you want to make for your relationship?
6. Does he deny the abuse or describe it as if it was nothing serious?
7. Do you justify the abuse with things you do or ways you react?
8. Does it cause you anxiety?
9. Are you afraid of him?
10. After you meet him, do you feel energetic or exhausted?

If you answered positively to most of the questions, it means that you are not in an abusive relationship, a toxic relationship.

Fear of the unknown can make you lie to yourself. It is normal to worry from time to time or to have negative thoughts, but it is not normal to live with them.

Don't forget, YOU ARE NOT ALONE, ASK FOR HELP!

If after reading this article you have decided that it is time to leave and overcome your fear, continue reading our article "Safety plan".

You can find it here https://www.helenahelpline.com/ro/resurse/plan-de-siguranta